Easing the strain of divorce

There are all sorts of songs about divorce including:

• Tammy Winette’s D-I-V-O-R-C-E

• Usher’s Papers

• The Avett Brothers’ Divorce Separation Blues

It was hard to pick just three, but everyone’s divorce is different, so songs about children, alimony, getting on better alone abound. We’re pretty sure everyone going through it will have their own playlist.

So why would we, a self-storage company, be offering you a divorce playlist?

Traditionally it was said that the main reasons for needing storage are ‘Death, Displacement, Disaster and Divorce’. We know from experience that people’s reasons for storing go way beyond this, but we also know that we can ease some stress at key times in divorce proceedings.

When people split, it can be very easy to decide who gets what. Or incredibly hard. It will depend on so many factors. Reasons for divorce. Hurt. Location. Children. Length of marriage or partnership.

In most cases there will be hurt and resentment, and there are often considerations such as:

• Is that all I’m worth?

• But I love that vase, you only want it because it matters to me;

• My mother, best friend, father, great aunt, etc gave us that;

• That cost me a full month’s salary;

• You decided to go, you get nothing.

At a time of great hurt and wanting to say things we may later regret, things become symbols for our part in the broken relationship and what we brought to it.

Parents have to create new co-parenting relationships and changed relationships with their children.

Anger. Stress. Depression. Endless paperwork. Maybe even court cases. Hardly the best backdrop against which to be making decisions about what you will and will not need in your new lives.

We can’t offer marriage counselling, but we can store things for you until decisions are made and new homes are found. It’s all too easy to sell the whole lot or give it away. To cut things up in anger. To clear yourself out of everything that reminds you of the marriage.

But the truth is that these things are type of ‘self harm’, as it will take around 18 months, according to divorce specialists, for parted couples to find their way into new, more settled lives. At that point, divorced couples will know more certainly if they have space for that enormous wood table or grandfather clock, what the needs of each person will be, and hopefully, at that stage, be able to remember their former partner’s good points as well as bad and be ready to move on.

Of course, that’s sometimes not the case, and we don’t want to make light of the issues that cause couples to remain engaged in battle for years.

Whatever your situation, we’re here to help if we can.

Often both partners may be downsizing. A 2004 UK study reported that divorce contributes to homelessness in people over the age of 50, and a news report around this study suggested that more than 27,000 householders became homeless directly because of relationship breakdown.

In many cases this is temporary.

Traditional self-storage is expensive, and often needs the hire (or borrowing) of vans.

easyStorage can keep your belongings safe until both partners are settled and know what they need and want, and where they’ll be living. Often the things we fight for initially (that special CD or glass from a festival) are genuinely not the things we want and need later.

It’s up to you to decide how and when goods should be released and to whom, as we cannot act as adjudicators, but things to consider between you, unless you are storing just for yourself, include:

• How long do you want to store for as a minimum and a maximum;

• Does anything being stored specifically belong to one or other of you?

• Who can gain access to these items, and when?

• Who will pay the bill?

You’ll have an inventory, so if you can’t agree who gets what, you can pass the list to the legal folk to fight it out.

Hopefully it won’t get to that. With a bit of time and space between you, you may feel differently and be able to ignore the past and resolve property issues practically.  

easyStorage collects and returns belongings, so life in that respect will be simple.

We like to believe we deliver more than storage. We think that self-storage can give you the time and space to resolve your divorce arrangements and to find new paths for your lives. We truly hope they’ll be happier ones.

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